Fighting over Spelling

Your culture tells you what is right and what is wrong. Your parents, the friends you hang with, your social studies teacher, Taylor Swift, the stop lights at the intersection, are all infinitesimal components of this big huge thing called culture that we usually don't really think about. It is culture that molds us, that helps us make sense of the world, that gives us a short multiple choice of possible responses to what the world presents to us. The list of short multiple choice options for me are not exactly the same as the short multiple choice list of options for you because we are all influenced by many cultures (my parents are not your parents, I went to PS 84 in the Bronx, you went to Eton, someone is Muslim, another Buddhist, Person A listens to Billie Eilish and Person B listens to Iron Maiden). The different cultures that influence every individual on this planet do not overlap perfectly, and that means a different list of options.

My son grew up going to an International School in Europe where the language of instruction was English (though we did not live in an English-speaking country). His teachers came from New Zealand, the USA, Canada, Australia and the UK. He had spelling tests, and his teachers always said, "There are sometimes several ways to spell a word correctly, because there are several versions of English, practiced differently in different countries. Spell the word in the version you choose, but be consistent. I don't want to see neighbor spelled the American way in the same essay as aluminium spelled the British way. You must be consistent." At age 12, my son spent a year at a boarding school in the Scottish Highlands. The first day of school, the English teacher gave a spelling test to the students. She said aeroplane. My son pondered what to do..."I know she wants a-e-r-o-p-l-a-n-e, but that is not the way I spell it..." Decision time!

He spelled it the way his dominant culture spelled it, and it was marked wrong. He went up to the teacher and they had the conversation they needed to have.

"You marked me wrong here, but that is the way Americans spell it."

"Yes, but you are in the UK, now, you need to spell it the British way." A beat went by, and then my 12-year-old said, "The Americans invented it, they get to decide how to spell it."

It's funny, that is all. This is not a story about who is right. It is a story about cultural dissonance and how we get attached, territorial, and even indignant, when someting challenges our sense of order in the world, a sense of order that is determined, deeply, fundamentally, by culture.

And here I share a Facebook post I saw the other day from Lynn Miclea. It is also a funny story, and a marvelous example of how to cope with cultural territory. This is an example of intercultural competence:

Recognition of cultural differences (like conventions of spelling), tolerance of cultural differences, and even celebration of cultural differences: That is intercultural competence.

© Sarah Knightwriter